Need parenting advice- laundry mess

mousefan73

Germans are faster at dubbing
Joined
May 9, 2012
So I have a 15-year-old DD and DS 16. I am attaching a picture of what our typical bathroom/laundry situation is. DH is starting to throw a fit because he just can’t understand how a family of four has almost 8 loads of laundry a week. That is a lot. Especially, see below, how the kids treat their clothes. There’s no way to tell what his actual laundry and what can be worn again. There’s really no overview on what’s really dirty and what is not. Yes we are a family that does try to wear outside pieces of clothing more than once. Attached is our downstairs bathroom and the one upstairs is the same. The kids will take off a piece of clothing and just throw it in the bathtub or on the floor and as you can see the laundry basket is right there. Or when they actually do use the laundry basket they’ll throw in something that doesn’t need to be washed yet. So I’m trying to think of some strategy here. Get them to realize how much stress their mess is causing me. I’ve done enough yelling and threatening. So what would you do?

My one thought this morning is that I no longer do laundry for them. I will give them each two laundry tabs - that’s the contingent for how many loads they can do. I have a feeling if I don’t do that they’ll just make piles in their bedrooms and not sort them out and just throw everything in the machines and in the end have actually more loads of laundry per week. They just need to learn how much additional workload this is causing all of us with their disorganization, laziness and how they handle their clothes. My DD is a complete other challenge because she’s the type that likes to change her tops three times a day and just throws the ones she already had on before wherever she happens to be. I could also go the route of collecting whatever is lying about the house and charging money to get pieces back. I don’t know any ideas?
 

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jdb in AZ

It could end up curdled
Joined
Feb 11, 2011
They're certainly old enough to do their own laundry. My kids started younger than that, and actually enjoyed taking responsibility for doing their own. I know, gasp. These are the same kids that used to play in the dryer, taking each other for a spin. (obviously I wasn't home at the time.)
 

mousefan73

Germans are faster at dubbing
Joined
May 9, 2012
The reason why they don’t do their laundry is because it’s just simply more efficient combining different pieces of clothing together that fit in the same cycle. We have our “family” laundry loads not my person. If enough jeans are dirty in the household and I do a load for jeans.Ideally in our laundry room you would have a different loads sorted and then whoever, most likely me or my husband will then toss them in once there’s enough to wash for a cycle. For me having everyone do their own laundry seems a little bit chaotic and then what happens if I wanna wash my clothes but then I see that my kids are using the machines. Then our laundry room turns into a laundromat fighting for machines. The main issue is the mess before it even gets the laundry room.
 

mousefan73

Germans are faster at dubbing
Joined
May 9, 2012
And for the record it’s not like the kids don’t help with laundry. If I have a basket of clothes to hang up I’ll ask them to do it or fold laundry. We then sort when things are folded and cleaned
 
  • BadPinkTink

    Republic of Ireland is not part of UK
    Joined
    Mar 13, 2015
    The reason why I don’t do their laundry is because it’s just simply more efficient combining different pieces of clothing together that fit in the same cycle. Ideally in our laundry room you would have a different loads sorted and then whoever, most likely me or my husband will then toss them in once there’s enough to wash for a cycle. For me having everyone do their own laundry seems a little bit chaotic and then what happens if I wanna wash my clothes but then I see that my kids are using the machines. Then our laundry room turns into a laundromat fighting for machines. The main issue is the mess before it even gets the laundry room.
    You are just being a control freak. Thats how YOU do laundry, but it may not be how they want to do laundry. Its part of growing up, let them do their own laundry, let them figure things out. So what if their laundry basket overflows, they will learn soon enough how to time manage the clean and dirty clothes. So what if they are doing laundry when you want to do laundry, again thats part of growing up and you will have to work out a system and routine.
     

    mousefan73

    Germans are faster at dubbing
    Joined
    May 9, 2012
    Sorry I’m replying too much to my own thread but I’m just thinking a lot about it right now in the main issue is not them not doing their own laundry but the fact that so much of their clothing ends up in the laundry that is not actual “laundry”. Another words clean clothes. Hence my idea of OK maybe they should do their own laundry just so they see how much is being wasted
     

    BadPinkTink

    Republic of Ireland is not part of UK
    Joined
    Mar 13, 2015
    And for the record it’s not like the kids don’t help with laundry. If I have a basket of clothes to hang up I’ll ask them to do it or fold laundry. We then sort when things are folded and cleaned
    oh wow, the 16 year helps when asked, big swing. When I was 16, doing laundry was part of my routine, just like doing homework. I just did it, like if there were clothes out on the line when I came home from school, and it started to rain, I would go out and bring them in without being asked.
     
  • Christine

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 31, 1999
    Ugh, I went through this and never really found a solution. I would at least get them to use a bin/hamper in their rooms or the bathroom. They'd then be responsible for dumping it in our laundry room. By the time I was going to do laundry my laundry room was calf deep in dirty clothes.

    I know everyone says to have them do their own laundry, but with large front loaders, we found it wasn't really efficient for everyone to be doing their own smaller loads. Sure they did loads when they had specific things they wanted right away, but generally if you're trying to wash efficiently with large loads then it's not the best to have everyone doing their own thing. Washer goes all the time and then instead of 8 large loads you've got 16 smaller ones. My husband also had to do his laundry separately because he worked a construction site job and his stuff was filthy. When my kids were teens and we were all out working, laundry was my biggest nightmare.

    I think if you can tackle their generally "slob" qualities of throwing their clothes wherever then it might be more manageable. But good luck with that. I was never successful!!
     

    Disneylover99

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 17, 2012
    Sorry I’m replying too much to my own thread but I’m just thinking a lot about it right now in the main issue is not them not doing their own laundry but the fact that so much of their clothing ends up in the laundry that is not actual “laundry”. Another words clean clothes. Hence my idea of OK maybe they should do their own laundry just so they see how much is being wasted
    I do laundry for my family. I have 2 teens. I look for stains and treat them as I wash.

    Some of their clothing is not dirty and/or maybe tried on, but not worn. I just put it back in the clean bin, send it up and say, here kids I washed your clothing, sort it and put it away. They say, thanks mom.

    It will cut back on the loads of laundry you do. :)
     

    mousefan73

    Germans are faster at dubbing
    Joined
    May 9, 2012
    Ugh, I went through this and never really found a solution. I would at least get them to use a bin/hamper in their rooms or the bathroom. They'd then be responsible for dumping it in our laundry room. By the time I was going to do laundry my laundry room was calf deep in dirty clothes.

    I know everyone says to have them do their own laundry, but with large front loaders, we found it wasn't really efficient for everyone to be doing their own smaller loads. Sure they did loads when they had specific things they wanted right away, but generally if you're trying to wash efficiently with large loads then it's not the best to have everyone doing their own thing. Washer goes all the time and then instead of 8 large loads you've got 16 smaller ones. My husband also had to do his laundry separately because he worked a construction site job and his stuff was filthy. When my kids were teens and we were all out working, laundry was my biggest nightmare.

    I think if you can tackle their generally "slob" qualities of throwing their clothes wherever then it might be more manageable. But good luck with that. I was never successful!!
    This is exactly how it is by us. We also have front loaders. plus I have a European machine And the shortest cycle is 59 minutes. It takes over an hour for the dryer to dry. It’s not like in the US where a load of laundry is washed and dried within one hour. Plus we hang up 90% of our outside clothing.
     

    Christine

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 31, 1999
    This is exactly how it is by us. We also have front loaders. plus I have a European machine And the shortest cycle is 59 minutes. It takes over an hour for the dryer to dry. It’s not like in the US where a load of laundry is washed and dried within one hour. Plus we hang up 90% of our outside clothing.
    The first set of front loaders I had was like this. My shortest wash cycle was about 48 minutes. Drove me insane, especially because I had TONS of laundry. When I bought the machines I really didn't check that timing thing. Last year, they finally died, and I got new front loaders, and what a difference. So many options for short cycles or smaller loads. But not all of them are like that. And just like you, back when I had the tons of laundry, both my daughter and I had/have tons of clothes we don't put in the dryer. If the weather is nice, they go outside on the deck on a laundry drying rack, but during winter I have them hanging or draped over my dining room chairs!
     

    BadPinkTink

    Republic of Ireland is not part of UK
    Joined
    Mar 13, 2015
    This is exactly how it is by us. We also have front loaders. plus I have a European machine And the shortest cycle is 59 minutes. It takes over an hour for the dryer to dry. It’s not like in the US where a load of laundry is washed and dried within one hour. Plus we hang up 90% of our outside clothing.
    Im not in the US, we don't have a laundry room, the washer is in the kitchen. I was taught how to do laundry from about age 10, we dried our clothes outside in the summer, inside in the winter. Its about learning responsibility. Dirty clothes are kept in a wash basket in each persons room. Each person sorts their own dirty clothes in their room before they bring them to the kitchen and put them into the washer. Once the clothes are washed, the cycle is usually 90 minutes, the person then takes out. The clothes are then hung on the line or hung up on the indoor dryer. When the clothes are dry, the person takes them to their room to sort them, fold them etc.

    A 16 year should be well able to time manage their own dirty clothes, clean clothes, when the washer is free, when others are not using the washer routine.
     

    mousefan73

    Germans are faster at dubbing
    Joined
    May 9, 2012
    They do their own period

    Easy as that.

    Soon enough they'll be adults out of the house and you'll wish they were home.
    I have to laugh because just because they are moved out doesn’t mean some people still don’t do laundry for their adult kids. My SIL’s son Is single and in his 40s and brings home dirty laundry every two weeks for his mama to wash Sundays. I’m dead serious. I just don’t get it.My mom and I still haven’t figured out if my SIL does it because she actually wants to or because she doesn’t know how to say no.

    Granted this guy doesn’t have his own laundry machine but he does come out from the city where there are plenty of laundromats to be had. 🤷‍♀️
     

    Welsh_Dragon

    Y Ddraig Goch
    Joined
    Feb 23, 2019
    @mousefan I put a laugh emoji because I have been there ( maybe still there). Both my (now adult) little darlings went to boarding school from the ages of 8 and 11. In boarding school you put your clothes laundry out twice a week and it is returned, clean, folded and ironed. Towels you use once and dump in laundry. My daughter more or less follows this basic concept. My son, now in his 20s 😱… literally within an hour of arriving home the floor of his bedroom disappears. He changes a few times a day, never wears anything twice and has lots of special wash items. I have a housekeeper and I know that it drives her crazy. His idea of tidying his room is to dump everything from the floor into the laundry room. I have developed a blind eye to his bedroom. I recommend aim for containment in their rooms and use the blind eye.
     


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